One of the things that plague native English speakers who are learning Spanish is when to use por and when to use para. So it never occurred to me that people learning English would have similar questions about all the words we use to express the same things. And then a friend asked me to talk about the difference between to me and for me.
The most common use of to/for goes like this:
A delivery person comes to your office with a huge bouquet of flowers. You say:
You can give them to me. I will sign for them.
Puedes darme las flores. Firmaré por ellas.
This has the feeling of a specific action or direction. The flowers will be transferred from the delivery person to you. You will figure out who the flowers are for and make sure the happy recipient gets them.
Or
Oh, those flowers must be for me! It’s my birthday.
¡Ay, esas flores deben ser para mí¡ Es mi cumpleaños.
Here, it’s more about purpose and even ownership. The flowers were specifically ordered as a gift for you (on your behalf).
Another way to me and for me are used is to signal the importance of something. Look at the slight difference in these two examples:
It’s important to me to learn Spanish. [This is a personal desire. Even if no one else thinks you should spend your time studying, you want this.]
It’s important for me to learn Spanish. [You may not particularly enjoy studying Spanish, but you need to learn it in order to get a good job.]
We do have a couple of idiomatic expressions with to me and for me. They are used as a kind of short form for “in my opinion,” or “in my case.”
To me, it’s just a matter of deciding what we should do. [In my opinion—]
For me, it’s best to call it a night. [Some may agree with you; others may stay on and party. But in your case, and for your benefit, the best decision is to go home and get some sleep.]
Or try this one:
You may be able to eat one chocolate and stop. For me, it’s the start of an embarrassing binge that only ends with an empty chocolate box.
For me is most likely a short version of the older expression, “As for me—” which was a very strong statement of personal decision and conduct in contrast to what others were doing.
Most of the time either phrase can be used, but to me is more like expressing a thought [Creo que—], while for me has the feeling of benefit or personal effect [Para mí—]
The good news is that these are very subtle differences. They are generally choices that emphasize your opinion or your situation, not potential errors. No matter which phrase you use, native speakers will understand you.
For me, communication is what’s important.
Notes: Another fun saying is for you when you want to express typical behavior (often behavior you don’t like):
The candidate promised us the world and now won’t answer our calls. Well, that’s politicians for you!
And, of course, if someone says they’re here for you, they’re offering to support you (usually emotionally) when you’re going through a hard time.